Page 4 of Issue No.70 Quotations – Part Two
There was once a King of a far-away country who tired of delivering long speeches at all his many government functions. He called his wise men together and ordered them to write him one short speech he could memorize and deliver at every official event. The wise men labored for months before selecting one quotation that would be appropriate for all occasions, whether it be a dedication ceremony or a royal wedding. The King was pleased when he read the quotation and thereafter would repeat, “And this also shall change.” If I had been asked by the same King for my all purpose quotation, I would have immediately answered, “What goes up must come down.”
Perhaps the easiest quotations to remember and repeat are known as one liners.
Stand-up comedian Alan King (1927 – 2004) was famous for his one liners. “Now take my wife, Please!” brought laughs every time. Here are a couple more quotations from King’s repertoire that will tickle your funny bone. “If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?" “You only live once, except for Shirley MacLaine."
Then there is Ben Franklin (1706 – 1790) who added one line quotation to his Poor Richard’s Almanac. People would buy his Almanac just for his short quotations; much like people today buy the New Yorker Magazine just to laugh at the cartoons. Thanks to Ben the following quotations will be around for a long time:
“In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.”
“A good example is the best sermon.”
“Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.”
“Pay what you owe, and you’ll know what is your own.”
“Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none”
Historical figures will also be remembered for their quotations. The following
immediately come to mind:
Explorer Henry Stanley ….. “Doctor Livingstone, I presume!”
Admiral Farragut………….. “Dam the torpedoes, full steam ahead.”
President F.D.R………….... “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
President J.F.K…………… “Ask not what your country can do for you;
ask what you can do for your country.”
President Nixon………….. “Let each one ask – not what government will do
for me, but what can I do for myself.”
Many of you older readers who once listened to the Sunday night radio shows will remember the “Blockhead” Charlie McCarthy. Charlie has been credited with several humorous quotations which he mouthed while sitting on the lap of Edgar Bergen. Whether Charlie originated the quotations is debatable, but they are worth repeating. “Hard work never killed anyone, but why take a chance?” “I’ve got a tooth that’s driving me to extraction.”
When proposing a new idea, I frequently say, “Well, let’s run it up the flagpole and see who’ll salute.” If no one salutes, I’ll say, “Guess you can’t win them all” or “Everyone is crazy in this world except you and me and sometimes I wonder about thee.” This last quotation in its original form went, “All the world is queer save thee and me and even thou art a little queer.” [Robert Owen: on separating from his business partner, William Allen, (1828)]
Quotation Contest
There seemed to be only a modest interest in the Riverside Review’s Contest. Those few quotations that were received were all excellent and the winner for this month was contributed by Helen Povtak: “Taking it with you ain’t the problem.
The hooker is to make it last until you go”.