President Bush's Bailout

The Night Before the Bailout.
President Bush’s Bailout
By Ted Heineman with apologies to Clement Moore

Twas the night before the Bailout, when all through the Senate and House
Every politician was stirring to get their greedy hands on the purse.
The Unions were all lined up on the Capitol steps with care,
In hopes that General Motors would land the biggest share.

Ford and Chrysler were all settled snug in their beds,
While visions of dollars danced in their heads.
And Pelosi with the Democrats and Bush with his pen,
Were about to sign a law to make the recession end.

When out on Main Street there rose such a clatter,
I sprang to my television to see what was the matter.
There Wolf Blitzer and Fox were giving the news,
That other industries were suffering the same blues.

Would the billions of dollars everybody wanted to know
End up in pockets of the politicians running the show?
Then what to my wondering ears I did hear,
The President say, "My friends, do not fear!"

"This is only the beginning, just wait and see
How generous the Congress can really be."
More rapid than ever the treasury churned
Out billions of bailout dollars we later learned.

"Now fifties and hundreds, now thousands and millions,
We have no limit," was the President's opinion.
"Hell with the Nation's budget, there is no time at all
For the country's economy is about to stall."

He spoke these frightful words and went to work,
Signing into law an auto bailout filled with pork.
And laying his pen on the corner of his desk,
Left the Oval office with a nod to the press.

He hurried to his helicopter, to his team gave advice,
“Let the next president worry what is the final price.”
But I heard him exclaim, as he was ruining our democracy,
"This financial bailout should help improve my legacy!"

Publisher’s Note: This poem was written prior to
Christmas 2008, but is relevant for every Christmas.